Chocolate is almost a health food according to a new study released yesterday.

1,018 healthy men and women who ate a balanced diet, exercised 3.6 times a week and ate 1 oz of Dark Chocolate a day tended to have a lower ratio of weight over height or Body Mass Index (BMI) than those who did not eat 1 oz of Dark Chocolate a day. And there is more:

Increased HDL
Lower Blood Pressure
Improved Blood Flow
May inhibit colon cancer
Useful in treating migraines

I took my dark chocolate medicine faithfully over the last two days:

Bunny ears – 1 oz
Bunny head – 1 oz

Dark chocolate bunny compliments of 2 Chicks with Chocolate. Visit their site. They are the source for your one ounce of dark chocolate a day.

PS: As a woman who lost 50 lbs in 1976 and has kept it off all these years, I coach my clients to honor their bodies with daily exercise, a diet of health inviting foods, 8 hours of nightly rest, daily mediation and now YEAH!!! 1 oz of dark chocolate every day.

Be well! AND if you are not right now, let’s talk!  310-450-4074 carol@carolsegrave.com.

Throughout 2009 and 2010, David struggled to keep his “till death do us part” marriage vow in place, to maintain a healthy and happy relationship with his three-year-old daughter, to retain his VP Position in a major international alternative energy corporation, and to keep his mind, body and soul together in the throes of major mid-life stressors.

Don’t you think that these days, making it through ages 30-45, is harder than making it through adolescence? Relationship, career and financial stressors are enormous. Getting through these years requires valor, strength of mind and spirit in the face of danger.  One confronts the risks of losing relationships (e.g. parents, children, friends, significant others), a job, a home, one’s physical and mental health, and the faith and belief that life is indeed good.

Survival takes the willingness to put one’s own happiness first, to believe in oneself no matter what, to regroup, to regain one’s passion for life, and to design and commit to a new life plan.  Of course, one also needs to be mindful not to create  suffering in the players in one’s story, while at the same time avoiding the temptation to become co-dependent.

David made the painful decision to file for divorce and then to design a life plan that beautifully restored his sense of self, his passion for life. The plan included co-parenting his daughter, who remains in the same neighborhood and goes to the same neighborhood school. He is able to walk her to school in the morning, and she spends half of her time with him. They joined the YMCA Adventure Princess Program, and with 150 dads and their daughters, go on a monthly camping expedition. He hired an au pair to ease his stressful world of being an all-in-one Dad/Mom/Driver/Homemaker/Babysitter.

David felt that he needed a new work challenge to jumpstart a new beginning for himself.  He changed companies to his career advantage.  Before he started his new job, he went to Australia to scuba dive the Great Barrier Reef on a catamaran.  He completed his training as a licensed sailor.  In his words, “Overall, I’d say that, while I am not exactly where I thought I would be at this point in my life, I am thrilled to be unstuck at last and moving in the right direction.  The only way out is through it.”

My responsibility to people like David, is to provide the mentoring support which my clients need when they are wrestling with major life transitions, e.g. divorce, career change, reinvention, renewal and recovery.

As a life coach, I guide my clients through a process of soul-searching to restore faith in oneself and to develop and commit to a new plan for career, relationships and self-care.  All it takes is a plan and a conscious choice to be happy again by re-igniting one’s passion for living.  How can I help you?

“When we rise from sleep let us rise for the true work that we will be about this day, and considerably cheer one another on.” -The Rule of St. Benedict

Have you wondered what it would be like to totally disconnect from computers, cell phones, iPads, TV, family, friends and pets for a few days?  I decided to give it a try over the New Year holiday and spent five days with monks whose total way of being in the world and of interacting with each other and their guests was to “cheer one another on” at every opportunity. It was New Year’s 6th Century Style at St. Andrew’s Benedictine Abbey in the Southern California High Desert.

Did you know that Benedict established twelve monasteries throughout Italy in the 6th Century? His monks were committed to a set of ideals and followed a rhythmic daily pattern of work, study, community and prayer.  1500 years later, Benedictine monks are still living lives modeled on the “The Rule of St. Benedict”.

In summary, Benedict suggested living a life committed to pragmatic, self-sustaining life balance.  He was the Dr. Oz and Oprah of fifteen centuries ago.  Simply amazing!

St. Andrews Abbey provided a simple, quiet, safe and exceptionally gorgeous natural setting in which to rest, wander, read, sit and stare at a fire, a Koi pond or a mountain.  Meals were lovingly prepared and served by the monks. They were healthful and delicious. Breakfast and dinner were eaten in silence.

If you choose, you can join the monks in their prayers and chanting gatherings, attend mass, listen to lectures on spiritual maturity, or just retreat to your own solo disconnect. Your preference. No pressure.

So how was it really?  Well, day one was unsettling.  Kept habitually checking my phone for some kind of world connection. Seemed unbelievable that nothing was there for me. Found myself reading old emails and reviewing my photos. Day two I was in awe that I was free. Free from a schedule, a to-do list, obligations to others.  I became giddy with delight. I had not felt that way in years.  It seemed unreal. Days three and four got me into a rhythm of slow. It was slow walks, slow eating, slow reading, slow thinking and maybe for a second or two–no thinking, frequent naps. On day five I woke up feeling well rested. I could not stop smiling. I was at ease. Only downer was it was time to pack up and go home.  That was also done very slowly.

After twenty-four hours at home, I still feel rested. I am still on slow.  I am reading and will re-read and highly suggest John McQuiston II’s Always We Begin Again-the Benedictine Way of Living. McQuiston has adapted the “The Rule of St. Benedict” to the circumstances of contemporary life.  McQuiston makes it very easy see how  “The Rule of St. Benedict” can be a model for living a present day, successful professional and personal life.

I also suggest The Joy of Quiet, by Pico Iyer, NY Times, December 29, 2011.

Take a look at St. Andrew’s Abbey website.  There are some very interesting weekend and week-long retreats planned for 2012. You will find everything from Thomas Merton, to Cinema and Major Life Transitions and even Continental Cooking with the Saints (dishes with Saint’s names).

If you would like to see how the “The Rule of St. Benedict” can help you cheer yourself and  your team on in the twenty-first century, let’s talk.

Both presentations were magical!

Ella with Moscow principal dancer, Artem Kohroshilov

There was the most amazing swirl of exhilarating energy that flew from the brilliant young performers and wrapped itself wondrously around the unsuspecting audience of all ages.  I saw it happen with two of my companions.  The first was my 12-year-old surfer-skateboarder-grandson. The other was my 6- foot-2, 39-year-old police officer-son.  My other companion, my granddaughter, age seven, and a student of ballet for the past three years, was an easy sell.  All four of us were wide-eyed, enchanted, almost teary over the pas de deux, and sad to see the performance end.

We need a touch of passion and magic in our lives every day.  “The Nutcracker” richly provides that via the music of Tchaikovsky; the tricks of Uncle Drosselmeyer; the dolls of several nations which come alive; the falling snow; the exacting classical solos, duets, leaps and spins; the Nutcracker which turns into a handsome prince (of course); the principal dancers who effortlessly play 3-4 parts; the kids from the local dance schools who are transformed for a night into cast members of a world class ballet company. My granddaughter Ella got to be one of those kids in the Moscow Classical Ballet’s “The Nutcracker”.

Finding sources of passion and magic in one’s life is not very hard. The source is in revisiting the things which one used to do before the age of 10. I studied ballet between the ages of 4 and 21.  As an adult, I found passion and magic in dance.

Let me help you to find the passion and magic in your life.

Ella on stage in The Nutcracker

Carol with grandson, Reed, and granddaughter, Ella

PASSIONATE:

The word passionate is often used in coaching, writing and speaking, e.g., being passionate about your life, living a passionate lifestyle, identifying your life’s passion.  Just what happens when passion turns into action?

Even within the language of current economic and political confusion, the word passionate refuses to be silenced. I keep hearing the word passionate. What is fascinating are the voices uttering this word, passionate. Leaders in the fields of technology, entertainment and sustainable corporate leadership are using it as their mantra for success and my hearing it fills me with hope.

It is in the voice of Mark Benioff, Chairman and CEO of Salesforce.com, a cloud computing company with 100 million members. Salesforce.com is really like Facebook for business– leading edge, highly profitable.  Benioff says, “I am passionate about making business better through technology. Technology is a mirror of society. It can create a new society.” (See Mark Benioff on Charlie Rose.)

It is in the voice of Dov Seidman, Founder, Chairman and CEO of LRN.  Seidman describes himself as a moral philosopher.  LRN helps senior executives govern more effectively. It also guides workers to do the right thing the right way, even in the most challenging circumstances. Seidman says,“ The journey now is about being passionate about knowing right from wrong”.  (See Dov Seidman on Charlie Rose.)

It is in the voice of John Lasseter, Chief Creative Officer at Pixar and Walt Disney Animation  Studios. Lasseter is the creator of Toy Story, Toy Story2, Cars, Cars 2, Up and Brave. Lasseter says,  “I am  passionate about making animated films that move people and take them to places they never thought they could go.” (See John Lasseter on Charlie Rose.)

All over the world a passion for good is awakening in countries, corporations, institutions and individuals.  I am passionate about creating positive outcomes for my clients, out of what appears to be chaos on most fronts. How can I help you become more passionate?

Thanksgiving crew

The last thing I wanted to do on Thanksgiving was volunteer at the West Los Angeles Thanksgiving Community Dinner and Celebration at the Santa Monica Civic Center.  I have a hard time around being in close proximity to the homeless. Two thoughts contribute to that. 1) The fear I will be one of them one day, and 2) the fear I will invite them all home for a shower, a meal, a bed and some of life coaching.

My son and grandson guilted me into it. We showed up at 9:30, got our volunteer badges and were told to wait in the volunteer waiting area for an assignment from a man or a woman in a headset. A headset woman approached me.  She calmly and politely asked if I would be willing to organize and lead a team to clean the Porta Potties.

“Sure,” I said.  “WHAT?????” My inner voice loudly screamed. “Are you crazy?”

I heard my outer voice say “where do we get the cleaning supplies. I have my team right here: my
son, grandson and my grandson’s friend.”  Those three looked at me in stunned disbelief.
Betrayal by their matriarch was written all over their faces.

Before we knew it, we were gloved, gowned, armed with paper towels, Clorox spray, a mop and bucket and were heading for the Porta Potties. There were 5 for about 4000 people (1700 Volunteers/2500 guests).  The Porta Potties had been in use for 2 hours.  No need to go into the details of the work we found there. It was an experience. We only did the one round and
then switched to table bussing.

“Blessed are they who clean up Porta Potties once in their life for they will forever be humbled and grateful.”

The rest of the day was spent with friends enjoying the traditional Thanksgiving Day meal prepared by a local restaurant.  I have proved over and over again that I can skillfully prepare and serve a Thanksgiving dinner.  NO need to prove it one more time.  Happy Day after Thanksgiving to all!

 

What is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?

-Mary Oliver

Isn’t that a great question to ask yourself?  The answer to that question is mandatory for all of us if we are to survive these times with our lives intact. There is no escaping overwhelm, on a personal level, while living in a world that is currently in economic, political and social confusion and chaos.

After years of life experience and the formal and informal study of what makes a great plan to live out “one wild and precious life,” I have found answers for myself and seem to be quiet effective at helping others do the same.

Carol is just about the best friend and mentor a person could ask for. She is my cheerleader, advisor and motivator. Her keen insight helps me to see my strengths and weaknesses clearly. She has honed in on my talents and bents and given me ideas for new things to branch out and try. It’s always fun when we are working together and she says, “Ah, there’s your artistic (or clerical, or literary) side coming out!” It helps me see myself differently and broaden my views and dreams. I can dive in now where I used to just get my toes wet. I appreciate Carol more than words can say!

-Joanne Sabella

What I Do

Three month “wild and precious life” planning process:

1. Assessment of skills, interests, behaviors — Birkman Assessment Instrument
2. “Wild and Precious Life” eWorkbook. An opportunity to ask and answer lots of questions on where you are, where you want to go and why you want to go there and how you are going to get there.
3. Weekly one hour coaching sessions with me to help you clarify the what, why and the how of your life going forward. These sessions are in person, by phone, or via Skype

How I Do It

1. Introductory phone conversation with me. (No charge for this conversation). We get to know each other. I get to see what your concerns are. I help you see how they might be holding you back. We explore some ways which will help you move forward.
2. When we decide to work together, we set a schedule for a series of one-hour, one-on-one coaching sessions over the next three months.
3. I send you the Wild and Precious Life eWorkbook.
4. You take the Birkman Assessment Survey.
5. You have a 2 hour Birkman Feedback Session with me.
6. You begin working through your assignments in the Wild and Precious Life eWorkbook.
7. I nudge you regularly all through the three month relationship with supportive emails, reading assignments, going-to-the-movies assignments. When I identify movies that will help motivate you to keep working your plan for your “One Wild and Precious Life”, I will encourage you to see them.
8. We never break up. We will connect regularly via my weekly blog, forthcoming ebooks, my presentation events, staying in touch by phone, email, lunch-coffee-tea meetings, a long walk conversation, should you be in Santa Monica, and/or I am in your home town.

Retirement has been, up until very recently, a much- longed-for experience—a time of rest, reward, leisure and financial ease. This kind of retirement lifestyle experience is being seriously challenged by a new wave of individuals who call themselves unretirees.
“Unretire” became an official entry in the Random House Unabridged Dictionary in 2006:

un-re-tire
– verb (used without object), -tired, -tir-ing to return to the work force after having been retired – Related forms un-re-tirement, noun, un-re-tir-ee, noun

An increasing number of retirees are becoming unretirees. They are embracing the unretirement lifestyle, looking for meaning, mental stimulation, human connection, physical action and money. Unretirement may not be for everyone, but it is sure working for the five unretirees who I recently interviewed!

Werner Keller’s Road to Life’s Riches

Older entrepreneurs never die, they simply rebirth them- selves. And, so it is with Werner Keller, a Wall Street analyst and portfolio manager. After working in the money business in New York and Los Angeles for 25 years, Werner founded Centurion Capital Management in Los Angeles in 1991, and managed over $2 billion of client assets. Ten years later, Centurion was acquired by General Electric Capital (now Genworth), and Werner was instantly retired.

A three-year period of retirement followed the sale due to acquisition-related intellectual property and non-compete agreements. He describes himself as “being miserable and starting a search for ways to kick his own butt back into the game of life.” In 2005, at age 65, Werner unretired and formed Keller Partners LLC, a registered investment adviser firm based in Oxnard, California, that advises money managers on hedging strategies and manages energy portfolios for high-net worth individuals (www.kellerpartnersllc.com).

Basic Principles of Unretirement

In her recent conversation with entrepreneur Werner Keller, author Carol Segrave began to understand some of the basic Principles for Unretirement:

1. Never hang out with traditional retirees. They are often held in the grip of mental malaise and obsession with physical ailments.
2. Surround yourself with intellectual and business colleagues in their forties. Do the things they do.
3. Socialize with a younger crowd and then trick your brain into believing you belong in their era.
4. Never, ever slow down mentally or physically. The body is lazy and will be only too happy to accommodate you if you start to slow down. It actually will have a conversation with you. “Oh, you want to slow down now? Okay, that’s fine. I can slow down for you.” There goes your mind and your body on a steady decline, and you are the one who started the decline-ball rolling.
5. Take on a challenging professional project. In Werner’s case, he recently researched and wrote a technical white paper on portfolio hedging strategies. “Like doing another master’s thesis,” he complained with a smile, “lots and lots of details to get right.”
6. Look forward to, and embrace, change. For Werner and his wife Audrey, their non-business focus this year and next will be building a large home in Bend, Oregon. They hope to have it finished in time for Werner’s 70th birthday in 2010, and have designed it to accommodate future family gatherings, large and small. Between them, Werner and Audrey have four children and six grandchildren with whom to forge memories in their new home.
7. Know that in raising children, the first 40 years are the hardest. Children bring great joy, but often have needs for crisis management, career advice and cash infusions to launch their dreams. Consider it your business to facilitate wonderful memories for your grandchildren. All of the above is positive and is just a part of life.
8. Commit to being at least as computer literate as the average 25-year-old. This is a tough one, especially if you have allowed yourself to lag a little and are suddenly struggling to manage e-mail. You really need to know how to get around the Internet, embrace that new cell phone and send text messages like a 20-something.
9. Challenge yourself mentally every day. Linus Pauling, one of Werner’s heroes, said that in his 80s he tried to devote three hours every day to studying things about which he knew nothing.
10. Involve yourself with a non-profit organization.

Choose one where you can really make a difference, not just show up for luncheons and auctions. Werner chairs (and sings with) the Angeles Chorale, a classical choir in Los Angeles.

What does all of this have to do with unretirement? Werner believes that these rules represent the underlying conditioning for unretirees. Like any training, the process won’t always be fun—but he believes that if you develop some or all of the above mindsets, business opportunities large and small will present themselves automatically.
“Actually,” Werner says, “they are always right there when your mind is prepared to see them.” He welcomes conver- sations on unretirement at wkeller@kellerpartnersllc.com.

Joan and Bruce on the High Seas of Adventure

Joan Worthing and Bruce Dinsmore have had a love affair with sailing for more than 20 years. Living in Southampton, Long Island for more than three decades could explain that. They are currently sailing out of Sag Harbor on the Wave Equation, their C&C 99, 32-foot sloop. They race most Wednesdays and many weekends in the May to October season, and take at least one two-week cruise a year on Wave Equation. They are involved in scoring races in Sag Harbor’s Breakwater Yacht Club, and are officers of Eastern Long Island Yachting Association (www.elisailing.org), and their home is filled with 20 years’ worth of racing trophies and awards.

Bruce and Joan taught high school chemistry and math respectively for almost 30 years. Bruce retired in 2000, and Joan followed two years later. One would think that when they retired from their full-time teaching careers, sailing, and all that is related to it, would be enough to keep them satisfied in retirement… but it did not take Bruce long to discover that the traditional retirement lifestyle did not work for him. Since he and his wife already had a passion for cruising, he decided to work part-time for their travel agent. It was a little something to fill in the time while he waited for Joan to take her full retirement. And that was how one more retiree became, well, an unretiree.

Bruce, 62, and Joan, 57, now team up for 10 to 50 hours per week in their own travel business that they operate out of their home. They mainly book cruise travel and all-inclusive vacations, but also book group and individual land destinations. They are both credentialed by CLIA (Cruise Lines International Association); Bruce is an MCC (Master Cruise Counselor) and Joan is an ACC (Accredited Cruise Counselor). Their client base developed from friends, former students and family into a national database. Their website offers amazing travel packages (www.worthmoretravel.4mydeals.com).

Teaching is not gone from their lives altogether. They both tutor several times a week. In addition, Bruce rounds off his unretirement with weekly gigs playing keyboard at local restaurants, clubs and events.

Bruce and Joan will be happy to discuss their unretirement lifestyle with you. You can email them at worthmore@hotlink.com.

Dan and Norma Find the Road to Happiness

Norma Alkins and Dan Mitchell of Golden Valley, Arizona, retired in 1999 and unretired in 2000. Dan’s earlier career was comprised of 37 years in the construction of refineries, dams and power plants nationwide. It was hazardous work; he toiled at 200 to 300 feet above ground level in all kinds of weather. Norma was a nutritional educator in hospitals, schools, private industry and county government in New Jersey and Arizona.

Dan and Norma met in late 2000. Dan was divorced, Norma widowed, and both were retired. A romance quickly developed into a relationship and before either of them knew it they were off living Dan’s dream of seeing the USA in an RV. For Dan, it was a nostalgic revisit to many of the construction projects on which he had worked. For Norma, it was a magical discovery that there really was something between her home state of New Jersey and her new home in Arizona. And so began their six-months-of-each-year-on-the-road RV lifestyle.

The fall of 2001 found them in an RV park in Casper, Wyoming. Destiny struck when Norma spotted an ad in the RV park office for Southeast Publications. The ad read, “How would you like to travel, have fun and make money?”

Dan and Norma followed up on the ad and discovered that Southeast Publications USA, Inc., one of the oldest, most solid companies in the business of furnishing site maps for a number of industries, was recruiting active RV owners into the business of selling ad space on campground site maps throughout the United States.

Norma and Dan decided to give it a try. They were provided with several months of very supportive training, both on-the-job and at biannual sales meetings. That was not enough to turn a construction worker and an educator into super salespersons overnight. “Client rejection was a killer,” said Dan. “Working the numbers game day after day was exhausting, but when the money started rolling in, it was all worthwhile.”
Seven years later life finds Norma, 71, and Dan, 70, eager to be up and out on work days. Their work flow varies— sometimes it is seven days a week, sometimes zero days a week. As independent contractors, they work and play when they want to, and they can choose the areas of the country in which they want to work. Their 21⁄2 week RV park stays are all complimentary. They usually choose parks near the homes of their combined five children and four grandchildren. Their rig is a 32-foot Damon Daybreak; a Saturn sedan gets towed behind.

Annual income of Southeast Publications unretirees ranges between $6,000 and $120,000, depending on how hard an unretiree chooses to work. The job perks include meeting and working with wonderful people and working at one’s own pace in some of the most beautiful places in the country. According to Norma, “It is all about learning to do something totally new and proving to yourself that you can be good at it.”

Norma and Dan would be happy to discuss their unretire- ment experience via email at travelingman808@yahoo.com.

Is Unretirement for You?

Unretirement is not for everyone. It seems to be most attractive to retirees who loved their former working careers, are adventuresome, love being with people and have an abundance of physical energy and mental curiosity. If this sounds like you, consider making plans to reinvent yourself, reenter the work force and start channeling your energies in a whole new way.